StarGazer
by FallenAngel0125
Summary: A story about a rock star who had been best friends with Lily Evans. Takes place during book five, but probably won't follow the book exactly. Not slash. SBOC
1. Wild One

Hello everyone! This is my very first Harry Potter fanfiction, so please be kind when reviewing. This story idea probably has been done before, but don't yell at me just yet. I'm pretty much writing this story just so I can write the sequel, which is probably a bit more original than this one is.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter (unfortunately) but I do own the people who are not in Harry Potter, which would be Tawny, Kate and Erin. Oh...and about the rating...let's just say Tawny can have a pretty foul mouth. Heh.

* * *

"See ya next year, ya mother fuckers!" A female's voice boomed through out the arena. The crowd cheered as the owner of the voice raised her guitar above her head and beat it several times into the stage and then hurled the shattered instrument into the audience. "Goodnight!"  
  
Tawny Weiland waved one last time to the audience and headed backstage with two of her closest friends, and band mates, Kate Duritz and Erin Cornell.  
  
"God, it's good to be alive," Erin said to herself more than to anyone else and sighed. She was a plump, yet gorgeous, blonde who played the drums in their band, which was called Gypsy.  
  
"I don't know," Kate said with a grin on her face, looking back and forth between Erin and Tawny, "How are we going to top ourselves this time, guys?"  
  
"Very carefully?" The redhead, that would be Tawny, suggested, giving Kate a shrug.  
  
The brunette narrowed her eyes at Tawny and hissed "Gee, Tawn, would it kill you to enjoy yourself just for one night?"  
  
"Quite possibly, Kate," Tawny smirked at Kate who rolled her eyes.  
  
Erin looked back and forth between Tawny and Kate, fearing yet another fight was about to erupt between the two, "Um, shouldn't we be going to the party now? Come on, we just finished our tour! We should be out celebrating!"  
  
"Yes, I agree!" Kate nodded, a smile returning to her face when Kate referred to the party being thrown for them at a club not far from the arena, "Coming Tawny?"  
  
"I'll meet you there," Tawny lied. She had no intention to attend anything to do with Gypsy for a long time. Kate seemed to sense this and eyed her doubtfully.  
  
_Eight Years Ago   
  
"Tawny this has got to stop!" Kate shouted at Tawny, who had come late and drunk, to a recording session. "What are you, my mother?" Tawny slurred, swaying on her feet.  
  
"Tawny, listen to me, Erin and I suffered the same loss you did, but that didn't make us quite living, like you did! Damn it, I'm trying to help you! Let me help you! I want my friend back!" Kate grabbed Tawny by the shoulders, trying to force Tawny to see the light.  
  
"You can't have her back, Tawny spat venomously at Kate, pushing her away, "She's dead!"  
  
Tawny stormed past Erin, who had remained silent, as always, and slammed the door behind her as she left.  
  
_Present Tense   
  
Tawny sighed after she apparated home. She lived in a modest home in the country, that only one person could find, and that was her secret- keeper.  
  
Tawny yawned as she walked down the hallway, leaving a trail being her: Her ripped concert robe, corset, pants, etc.  
  
She walked into her bathroom, turned the shower on, and hoped in. The warmed water felt good against her tired, aching body. Eight months of touring had taken a toll one her.  
  
_'Not as young as I used to be,'_ Tawny thought to herself and sighed.  
  
After the relaxing shower, Tawny changed into her pajamas and decided it was time for a meal. She strolled into her kitchen, thinking about the party.  
  
_'Kate's going to roast me for this one,'_ but decided she just really didn't care anymore. For years Tawny had been known as the party animal of the group, her fans had even dubbed her Tawny Wild-One. But it all seemed to loose its appeal over the years.  
  
"Oh well," Tawny said to herself, opening her refrigerator and taking out an orange.  
  
"Not out partying?" A voice asked just after Tawny closed the door to her refrigerator. Tawny let out a shout, jumping about three feet in the air, and dropping her orange on the floor. She then slowly turned and glared into her fireplace, "Hello, Remus."  
  
"Sorry!" Remus Lupin smiled apologetically up at Tawny from her fireplace, "I didn't mean to startle you!"  
  
"Oh sure you didn't!" Tawny laughed loudly, and smiled at him. Remus Lupin was one of the few people Tawny knew who could not piss her off, even if he tried. Tawny knelt down in front of the fireplace, "how are you, Remus?"  
  
"Oh," Remus said tiredly, his eyes opening wide as he answered her, "I'm fine. Did you get my owl?"  
  
"The one about Voldemort returning?" Tawny asked and Remus nodded, "yeah."  
  
"Well, the Order of the Phoenix has gotten back together," Remus explained, both she and Remus had belonged to the order the first time Voldemort was around, "I didn't want to owl you that information because you're hard to find when on tour, and if it got intercepted..."  
  
"I understand," Tawny sighed, feeling guilty. She hadn't exactly been the greatest friend to Remus over the years. She was always on tour and doing stuff with her band that sometimes, unfortunately, she let her career get in the way of important things, such as her friends. Also, ever since James and Lily died...and Sirius Black had been taken to Azkaban.... Tawny had turned cold inside. If it weren't for Remus, and of course Erin and Kate, Tawny was convinced she would not be alive.  
  
"So," Remus continued, "I...well we... were wondering if you would be interested in joining us again."  
  
"We?" Tawny asked curiously.  
  
"Oh, you know," Remus explained, looking rather nervous, "Me, Dumbledore of course, the Weasleys, Mundungus, Mad-Eye, Snape, oh and Tonks as well."  
  
"Tonks?" Tawny asked, as an excited smile grew across her face. She hadn't seen Tonks in the longest time, and she mentally cursed herself for not paying her a visit lately. "Well, sure! Count me in!"  
  
"Great!" Remus grinned, seemingly in relief, "Um, how about tomorrow I bring you to headquarters? I know this is sort of late notice, but..."  
  
"That's fine, Remus!" Tawny laughed.  
  
"Oh, good!" He grinned at her again, "What do you say I meet you at your house tomorrow and we apparate there together?"  
  
"Okay, that sounds good," Tawny nodded, "What do you say 10:00AM?"  
  
"Great!" Remus replied, "Anyhow, duty calls. Get some rest tonight. I'll be at your house at ten o'clock sharp!"  
  
"All right," Tawny yawned, she hadn't realized how tired she was until Remus told her to 'get some rest', "See you later, Remus."  
  
"Bye, Tawny!" And with a small pop Remus's head disappeared from the fire. Tawny sighed and stood up. She picked her discarded orange up off the floor and set it on her kitchen counter, no longer hungry.  
  
Tawny closed her eyes, as she leaned against the counter, she could hear her own voice echoing in her ears,_ "Oh, God! No! LILY! JAMES!"  
_  
_"Stop it"_ Tawny told her self opening her eyes, trying to shake the thought out of her mind.  
  
Then, as she closed her eyes again, she envisioned herself clutching her best friend to her, as she screamed and cried in agony for what seemed like hours.  
  
"Stop it," Tawny growled at herself, out loud, "Don't think about it, it happened a long time ago.  
  
She closed her eyes again, this time she saw a man with dark black hair thrashing around as he was being dragged away by ministry officials, screaming he was innocent. The man she once thought was a murderous traitor, Sirius Black.  
  
"STOP IT!" She told herself more forcefully this time. She looked up and saw her reflection in the window in front of her. It was dark outside, and she could see that stars. She hadn't looked at the stars in a long time.  
  
She found out the truth a little over a year ago. Remus told her who the spy really was. A man who she once thought could not harm a fly. A man who she had stuck up for on countless occasions when his own friends teased him, and he got that teary look in his eyes, as he wrung his little hands, looking down, his chubby face looking so hurt. Oh, how she pitied him then. Now she knew who he truly was.  
  
"Get a grip," she told herself, looking at her reflection, "You're nearly thirty-six years old."  
  
Peter Pettigrew.  
  
She could control the anger boiling inside her no longer. The first item she grabbed was a wooden chair that moments ago had been sitting at her kitchen table. She sent it flying into the wall across the room.

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Well, that's all for now, tell me what you think by kindly reviewing, and please, do keep in mind this IS my first Harry Potter fanfic! 


	2. Breaking Down

Disclaimer: Same as before! Also, this chapter features lyrics from the song "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence; I just thought they sort of fit the situation.

Oh, and by the way, Tawny's last name is pronounced WHY-LAND (as if you were saying ISLAND, not DISNEYLAND).

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_Diagon Alley- Just Before Tawny's 5th Year   
  
"I think that's all the books we need," Lily Evans said as she took one last look at her book list, "Yep, come on, lets go pay for these."  
  
She and Tawny Weiland hauled all of their books up to the front of Flourish and Blotts, the bookstore in Diagon alley, where they paid the cashier. They then headed out the store into the warm, bright sunlight outside. It truly was a beautiful day.  
  
"All right, so what else are we going to need?" Tawny asked, looking at her best friend. She and Lily had been friends since they were six years old. They lived in the same muggle neighborhood; Lily lived with her muggle parents and sister petunia, and Tawny (who was an only child) lived with her muggle father and witch mother. The truth was, however, Lily and Tawny looked more like sisters than Lily and Petunia did. They were both redheads, though Lily's hair was a more vibrant shade of red, than Tawny's whose hair was somewhere between copper and strawberry blonde. They were opposites as well. Lily was a sweet girl who liked to dress up and, when she was younger, play with dolls. Tawny, on the other hand, was a tomboy who liked to play basketball, and was never seen wearing skirt outside of school. "Do you need new robes? Mine still fit me."  
  
"Mine still fit too; I tried them on last night to make sure. I think we're pretty much done," Lily replied. ""Do you want to see if we can fin Kate and Erin? They should be around here somewhere..."  
  
"Oh no!" Tawny groaned, shielding her face with her left arm, and turning away slowly, "Don't look now, your lover-boy is over there...I don't think he's spotted us yet..."  
  
Lily ducked her head when she saw who Tawny was talking about too, and said, "That must mean you're boyfriend is around here somewhere too, come on, let's get out of here..."  
  
"Sirius is NOT my boyfriend!" Tawny growled at Lily as they quickly fought their ways down the crowded street.  
  
"Yeah, well James is not my lover-boy either, so shut up, you started it," Lily retorted, playfully nudging Tawny with her elbow.  
  
"Fair enough, but I bet you anything you will date James before I date Sirius!" Tawny grinned at Lily devilishly.  
  
"A bet, huh?" Lily smiled, her emerald eyes lighting up, "Okay, loser buys the winner a butterbeer!"  
  
"That's all your willing to bet?" Tawny asked stopping and turning to Lily, her grin broadened, "A butterbeer? What, are you afraid you might lose?"  
  
"No!" Lily snapped, folding her arms defensively across her chest, "fine, you think of something!"  
  
"Hmmm..." Tawny said thoughtfully and then yet another grin spread across her face. She turned to Lily and said, "The loser has to read a love letter written by the winner out loud in the Great Hall to her boyfriend. So if you lose, I get to write a letter that you HAVE to read to James, and if I lose you get to write a letter that I have to Sirius. And we CAN'T reveal who the true author of the letter is; we HAVE to pretend that we wrote it ourselves. And we MUST read the entire thing no matter how sappy, mushy, or graphic it is."  
  
Lily raised her eyebrows as she watched Tawny who was standing smugly across from her. She then held out her hand and said, "Deal!"  
  
Tawny and Lily shook hands and continued down the street looking for their friends, not knowing at the time that their words had been overheard by James and Sirius, hiding beneath an invisibility cloak.  
  
But dreams like this must die...  
_  
Present Tense   
  
Tawny sat slumped up against the wall of her living room. She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there, but it felt like hours. One of her arms was propped up against her knee, her hand hiding her face, and in the other hand there was a crumpled up piece of parchment, that had smudged words scrawled all over it. She re-opened it and read the words she had written:  
  
_Without the mask where will you hide?  
Can't find yourself lost in your lie  
  
I know the truth now  
I know who you are  
And I don't love you anymore  
  
It never was and never will be  
You don't know how you've betrayed me  
And somehow you've got everybody fooled_  
  
Tawny looked over at the clock on her wall, which said it was already five o'clock in the morning. She hadn't realized it actually HAD been hours since she had spoken to Remus in the fire. Since that time she had decimated her kitchen, and written these words, words about Peter.  
  
She got to her feet, feeling restless. She needed to talk to somebody...anybody. Immediately she thought of Kate and Erin, bit they were probably mad at her for skipping out on the party. Kate and Tawny got into arguments enough as it was, the party situation would not help matters. Tawny was NOT in the mood for an argument.  
  
The only other person Tawny could think of was Remus, but her left her saying, _"Duty calls."_ Tawny assumed her was doing something for the order and had no idea when he'd be back.  
  
Tawny stood up and paced around the room a few times, coming to the conclusion that this had to be the longest night of her life.  
  
Five hours later Tawny was still awake, though she had changed into some muggle clothes: her favorite pair of ripped jeans, black boots, and a sleeveless black shirt.  
  
She heard cracking noise in the kitchen followed by a, "What in the..."  
  
"Hi, Remus," Tawny said walking into the kitchen. The floor was covered in shatter dishes, glass, broken chairs, and the like. The kitchen, needless to say, was a mess.  
  
"What happened here?" Remus asked, looking around the room, alarmed, "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine," Tawny lied, "I just had a fit is all."  
  
"Tawny..."  
  
"Okay, okay!" Tawny raised her hands defensively, "I'll tell you everything. After I talked to you in the fire place I started thinking about...things. I got myself upset and took it out on my kitchen."  
  
"What kind of things?" Remus asked. Tawny starred at him for a moment as he watched her. Remus had a habit of looking at a person when they were talking as if what the person was saying was the most important thing in the world to him. Even after years of knowing Remus it always caught her off guard.  
  
"Just," Tawny continued, "Lily and James."  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Remus asked looking very concerned.  
  
"Um, maybe later," Why don't we go to headquarters first? I really want to get out of this house."  
  
"Didn't you just get here last night?" Remus asked surprised that Tawny had already got sick of being at home again.  
  
Tawny nodded and said, "Yeah, but that's not the point. Where are we going?" "This," Remus pulled a piece of paper out of his robes and held it up before Tawny, "is from Dumbledore; he's the secret-keeper for the Order."  
  
Tawny took the piece of paper out of Remus's hand, unfolded it, and read:  
  
The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.  
  
Tawny reread the message twice to make sure she had read it correctly, and then looked up at Remus, her eyes narrowed.  
  
"Gee, Remus, exactly who in the Order had access to this house?" She took a step toward him, and he stepped back, away from her, smiling innocently, "I think you failed to mention someone last night when I asked you who was in the Order."  
  
"I'm sorry!" Remus apologized, "I just, well, I wasn't sure you'd come or not if you knew he was there!"  
  
"Oh, why not?!" Tawny snarled at Remus, looking rather possessed at the moment, "He's only me ex-fiancé! You know, the one who totally forgot about me after I thought about him every fucking day since he was imprisoned!" Tawny then let out a loud maniacal laugh that caused Remus to jump, "I damn near lost my mind missing him so much!"  
  
"Tawny, he hasn't forgotten about you!" Remus insisted, "He's asked me about you a lot! I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was just hoping he'd contact you himself!"  
  
Tawny turned her back on Remus, scowling, folding her arms across her chest, muttering "I was the _ONLY ONE_ who knew he was innocent all along. I was the _ONLY ONE_ who believed in him!"  
  
After a moment of silence Remus asked, "You don't want to come anymore, do you?"  
  
Tawny sighed, and thought to herself _'Don't take this out on Remus, he's your friend!'_ Tawny hadn't been the greatest friend to Remus the past thirteen or so years, and she wanted to change that. He had always been there for her when she needed him, even though she was never really there when he needed her. Now was the time to change that.  
  
"Yes, Remus," Tawny's voice had softened, "I do As I said before, I want to get out of this house, and, well, if he doesn't want to see me that's too damn bad."  
  
Tawny turned back to face Remus and gave him a hug, "Sorry I lost my temper. I, uh, just feel emotional now is all."  
  
"You call that losing your temper?" Remus laughed as he hugged her back, "I'm just glad you didn't do to me what you did to your kitchen!"  
  
Tawny pulled away from him, glaring at him playfully, and said, "Oh, shut up!"  
  
Remus looked around the kitchen one last time asking, "Are you sure you don't want me to help you clean up before we leave?"  
  
"No, let's get going," Tawny said, desperately wanting to get out of her own home. 'I'm just tired of being alone,' she thought as she rushed back into her living room, opened a closet door, pulling out a dark green robe. She threw it over her shoulders and shoved her wand into her pocket, and dashed back into the kitchen.  
  
"Ready?" Remus asked who had been waiting patiently.  
  
Tawny nodded, letting out a nervous sigh and said, "As ready as I'll ever be."  
  
Please Review! It makes me happy! 


	3. Innocence

Thanks for the reviews you guys, they make me happy! The lyrics at the end of this chapter are from the Evanescence song Fields of Innocence.

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"To go in or not to go in, that is the question," Tawny said as she and Remus stood outside the front door of number twelve Grimmauld Place. They had to have been standing there for about ten minutes already.  
  
"Oh, just go in!" Remus said as he violently opened the front door and shoved Tawny through it.  
  
Inside Remus put a finger to his lips and gestured to some curtains hanging from a wall. Tawny looked curiously at the curtains, and then looked at Remus, mouthing the word _"Portraits?"_ Remus simply nodded and shuddered.  
  
Tawny and Remus crept across the room, heading towards a door that Tawny suspected lead to the kitchen. Suddenly a young woman with pink hair emerged from the door.  
  
"TAWNY!" Tonks exclaimed very loudly and excitedly.  
  
Tawny's ears were soon met with what could quite possibly be the worst noise she had ever heard, and that was saying something. She turned wide-eyed to where the curtains had been and saw Sirius Black's mother, eyes bulging and rolling around as she screamed, "MUDBLOODS! TRAITORS! MUTANTS AND FREAKS! HOW DARE YOU SET FOOT IN THIS HOUSE?!" The portrait then set her eyes on Tawny and screamed. "YOU! MUDBLOOD! POISON OF MY FLESH! BEGONE FROM THIS HOUSE!" Other portraits were screaming too, but Mrs. Black was by far the worst.  
  
"BITCH!" Tawny shouted back, running up to the portrait, grabbing the curtain, attempting to pull it shut.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Tonks wailed as she grabbed the other curtain, trying to help Tawny pull it closed, "I was just excited to see you!"  
  
Tawny was aware that a few other people had entered the room, running to silence the awful sounds coming from the portraits.  
  
"It's all right, Tonks!" Tawny shouted over Mrs. Black's screams. Tawny then glared up at the portrait, and snarls, "would you shut up already?!"  
  
Soon enough Tawny and Tonks successfully forced the curtains to close and the horrible screeching had at last died down.  
  
"Man that was annoying!" Tawny muttered walking into the kitchen, followed by Tonks and Remus.  
  
"How are you?" Tonks asked as she caught Tawny in a hug, "I've missed you!"  
  
"I'm fine!" Tawny returned Tonks' hug, then pulled away from her, hands on Tonks' shoulders, and said, "I never meant to turn my back on you, Tonks."  
  
"Dreadful things!" Molly Weasley hissed as she entered the room, looking tired and annoyed.  
  
"Hello, Molly," Tawny greeted the older woman with a smile.  
  
"Tawny, dear!" Mrs. Wealsey returned her smiled, "I haven't seen you in so long, well at least not in person, how are you?"  
  
"Fine, thanks," Tawny smiled.  
  
"Have you been staying out of trouble? I don't mean to sound rude, but Mundungus has been a handful and..."  
  
"I haven't been in trouble with the Ministry in over four years," Tawny said with a dismissive wave of her hand.  
  
It was a fair question though. Tawny had been known to be very...vocal about her opinions of the Ministry of Magic. During one concert Tawny had apparently, while very drunk, gone on one of her infamous "political rants" and "verbally attacked" several members of the Ministry, but mainly Barty Crouch, who happened to be dead now. However, Tawny didn't remember much about the concert, except that the next morning she woke up with the mother of all hangovers, and a threat of six months to a year in Azkaban for "suspicions of plotting against the Ministry."  
  
"Well, that's a relief," Mrs. Weasley smiled again, "but now I must be going. Good day to you all." And with that Mrs. Weasley walked back out the door.  
  
Tawny then turned to Tonks and Remus and asked, "What did Mundungus do?"  
  
"Oh," Remus said with a wave of his hand, "Something about stolen cauldrons...and one night when he was supposed to be watching Harry he left his post..."  
  
"What?" Tawny gasped, "Was Harry all right?"  
  
"Well..." Remus began, but Tonks fished for him, "He got attacked by dementors!"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Don't worry Tawn, I taught him how to fight them!" Remus insisted, calming the redhead down, "Harry's a very talented wizard. You'd be proud of him!"  
  
"So, what then?" Tawny asked calmly, "Did he get in trouble for using magic?"  
  
"Well, yes," Remus replied nervously, "He had a hearing, but everything's been sorted out now. He's back at Hogwarts this very moment."  
  
Tawny opened her mouth to say something else, but suddenly heard someone, or something, say, "It is the mudblood...Kreacher knows it's her...My Mistress did not like her at all...the things my Mistress would say if she saw her here..." Tawny looked and saw a very old looking house elf "sneaking" its way across the kitchen.  
  
"Nice to see you too, Kreacher," Tawny was a bit surprised he had recognized her. She saw him once at platform 9 ¾ one year, but never again after that lovely incident.  
  
Inside Tawny was wonder if coming to this house had been a mistake after all.  
  
"Where's-" Tawny began but was cut off by Remus.  
  
"Sirius!" Remus grinned, grabbing Tawny by the arms and spinning her around. Tawny felt as though she were about to have a heart attack.  
  
_Fifth Year Potions Class  
  
"He's looking at you again," Lily whispered to Tawny.  
  
"Why won't he leave me alone?" Tawny growled as she leaned over her cauldron as she hastily threw her ingredients to a Noctis Visum potion into it. Potions was her least favorite subject, and it didn't help that Sirius's eyes kept wandering from his cauldron, a cross the classroom, and over to her every five minutes of the period.  
  
"Well...maybe you should give him a chance...he might actually be a nice guy," Lily winked at Tawny as she said this, remembering their bet from only a few months ago.  
  
"I'll date him when you date James," Tawny snarled at Lily. Tawny then looked over at Sirius, batted her eyes and blew a kiss towards him. "That will be the downside to trying out for the Quidditch team next year," Tawny said turning back to Lily and watched the contents of both their cauldrons turn a bright yellow color. "They should start bubbling soon...anyway, as I was saying, dealing with those two."  
  
"Yeah, but you should try out anyway if you like the sport. You're trying out for chaser, right?"  
  
Tawny nodded as she watched her cauldron start to break out into tiny bubbles.  
  
"I mean, it's not like Sirius will be trying to snog you while there are bludgers flying around."  
"Is it bad that I'm already starting to worry about the OWLs?" Tawny asked, intentionally changing the subject. They were still months away, but just thinking about the exams made Tawny feel sick.  
  
"You'll be fine, Tawn," Lily said looking a bit surprised, "You're a good student, and we'll study together. We'll both be fine! Oh, and by the way, he's looking again."  
  
Tawny turned in her seat and glared at Sirius. James, who was sitting next to Sirius, said something to Sirius that Tawny couldn't quite make out, and then both Sirius and James laughed.  
  
"Weirdo's," Tawny grumbled, looking back at her cauldron.  
  
"Now," Professor Donovan, the potions teacher, said standing up at the front of the classroom. He was a very tall man, who was muscular and quite handsome, with dark skin and hair. "It is time to test your potions."  
  
"Well," Tawny said as she scooped up some of her potion in her ladle, then turned to Lily and said, "bottoms up!"  
  
Everyone in the classroom drank their potions, and they soon found themselves sitting in a dark classroom, or WERE they?  
  
"Whoa!" Tawny said, "NIGHT VISION!"  
  
It was as if the classroom had no room and the sun was shinning on a clear summer day. Tawny could see everything in the room perfectly. As their test, each student was asked to read a sentence that Donovan had written on a piece of parchment.  
  
"Very good Miss Evans and Miss Weiland, you may go!" Donovan smiled at them. Even though Tawny did not like potions that did not mean that she and Lily weren't two of Donovan's favorite students.  
  
"That was so cool! It was like we were outside or something!" Tawny said excitedly.  
  
"I KNOW!" Lily agreed.  
  
"I sure hope I'm not in competition with a teacher," A voice said from behind Lily and Tawny.  
  
The two girls looked behind them to see Sirius and James standing there. Tawny sustained a groan, and said, "Err...hi..."  
  
"So," James said, his trademark winning smile on his face, "About Hogsmeade tomorrow, what do you two say that Sirius and I take you to the Three Broomsticks and-"  
  
"No," both Lily and Tawny cut James off, turning on their heels and walking away from them.  
  
"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed, catching up to them, "You didn't even hear us out!"  
  
"Were you asking us out?" Tawny asked, turning to face him.  
  
"Well, yeah..."  
  
"Then the answer is still no!" Tawny gave Sirius a fake smile and kept on walking.  
  
"Fine!" Sirius called after her, "I'll find someone else to go with!"  
  
"I'm sure he will," Tawny said to Lily, and shrugged indifferently.  
  
I still remember the sun  
  
Always warm on my back  
  
Somehow it seems colder now  
  
Where has my heart gone  
  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
  
oh why...  
  
I want to go back to  
  
Believing in everything  
_

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Review Please!!! 


	4. Never Again

Wow! It's been awhile since I've updated this hasn't it? LOL! Just so you know some of the flashbacks in this story are not going to go in chronological order. Also things may not happen exactly as they do in the books, mainly because it's been awhile since I've actually read them.

The lyrics are from Evanescence's song Taking Over Me. (can you tell that they're on of my favorite bands? lol!)

Eratosthenese- Tawny goes into hiding mainly just to protect her privacy. She's a famous rock star so she's just trying to avoid paparazzi and sometimes her fans. That's all.

LadyBlackOfAzkaban - If you say so! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

* * *

Sirius stood frozen in the doorway as he and Tawny stared at each other, both wide-eyed, both of their mouth's opened slightly.

'Say something!' A voice in the back of Tawny's head said, 'Oh, like what?' She though, 'Oh, hi Sirius! How've you been? How was Azkaban? Oh, guess what! While you've been locked up for over a decade losing your mind I've become and rich and famous rock star! Oh, and guess what else! I almost got thrown in Azkaban myself! Wouldn't it have been cool if we got to share a cell? Kind of romantic, don't you think?' Tawny was quite certain that wouldn't go over very well.

"Tawny," Sirius said finally walking all the way into the kitchen.

"Sirius," Tawny smiled a fake smile at him, then, without even thinking she slapped him across the face. His dark hair fell in front of his eyes as his head whipped around from the force of the blow. The next thing Tawny knew was she was running.

'This seems oddly familiar...' She thought as she quickly yet quietly made her way through the out the front door of the mansion...

_The Summer before 7th year_

_Tawny bounced her basket ball against the concrete of her driveway as loud music blasted from her radio. She made a basket and heard someone clapping behind her. She turned around and saw Lily, standing there with a grin on her face._

_"Hey Tawny," Lily greeted her best friend._

_"Hello Lily," Tawny grinned. She turned off her radio and the two redheads walked over to Tawny's front porch and sat down on the swinging bench._

_"So, have you though about James' party?" Lily asked, and Tawny sighed, leaning her head up against one of the chains that the bunch hung from._

_"Sirius will be there," Tawny stated flatly._

_"Half of Hogwarts will be there, I'm sure you'll be able to lose him in the crowd somehow," Lily said impatiently, "PLEASE come! I want you there!" Lily begged. She took Tawny's hand in hers, "PLEASE??"_

_Tawny laughed, "I feel loved!"_

_Lily then gave Tawny a sad puppy face, and clasped her hands together, "Pretty please?"_

_Tawny glared at Lily for a moment, then cracked a grin, "Fine! I'll come! You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"_

_Lily grinned and said, "I knew you would!"_

_Later that night Lily and Tawny wound up on James' front porch._

_"I shouldn't be here..." Tawny said, staring at the front door as if it were going to spring to life and kill her._

_"Don't worry!" Lily said with a reassuring smile on her face as she rung the doorbell, "I hear James invited at least half of the school to this party! I'm sure you'll be able to lose Sirius!" Basically repeating what she had told Tawny earlier that day. Tawny was about to remind Lily that she could rarely 'lose' Sirius at Hogwarts, but the door opened._

_Tawny jumped as the door swung open and came face to face with Sirius. Tawny shot a glare at Lily who smiled apologetically and shrugged._

_"Tawny, I need to talk to you," Sirius said, coming out on to the front porch and faced her. Lily, meanwhile, slipped into the house, shutting the door behind her._

_"Sirius-"_

_"Wait, just listen to me!" Sirius insisted, he tried to take her hands in his, but the pulled them away from him. Sirius, though looking a bit discouraged, continued, "I've been thinking about you all summer! I can't even begin to tell you what you mean to me! I would never hurt you!"_

_"How can I believe that, Sirius?" Tawny asked painfully, "You...you put another person's life in danger! I don't care how much you and Severus hate each other, he could have died!"_

_"I wasn't thinking-"_

_Tawny cut Sirius off and continued, "How could I have continued dating you knowing that you could have been responsible for another person's death?"_

_"Tawny!"_

_"You have to let this go!" Tawny opened the door._

_"Wait Tawn..." Sirius said when she disappeared behind the door, slamming it in his face, "Damn it!"_

_Tawny spotted Lily, Kate, Erin, and James in the living room. Tawny rushed towards them, brushing past several classmates._

_"WHY DIDN'T YOU ANWSER THE DOOR?!" Tawny demanded, grabbing James by the arm turning him to face her._

_"Nice to see you too, Tawny!" James laughed, amused, "Sirius has been dying to talk to you all day. Anyway, he's been living here since last summer, so why shouldn't he have answered the door?"  
  
"Why's Sirius living here?" Erin asked, looking up at James curiously._

_"Have you ever met his mother?" James asked._

_Lily, Erin, Kate, and Tawny all shook their heads 'No.'_

_"If you ever do you'll understand," James said simply._

_"Did you talk to him?" Lily asked Tawny._

_"Well...yes..." Tawny replied._

_"What happened?" Kate asked._

_"I ran away from him," Tawny admitted._

_"Why?" Erin asked._

_"I was scarred!" Tawny whined._

_"Of what? Sirius?" James asked._

_"What's going on?" Remus asked, walking up to the group curiously, having just arrived at the party._

_"I RAN AWAY, OKAY?!" Tawny shouted in Remus' face. Almost everyone in the room had stopped what they were doing and stared over at the group._

_"Don't mind her, she's insane!" Kate said, and everyone resumed what they were doing before Tawny's 'small' outburst._

_"I just don't know what to say to him, okay?" Tawny looked down at her feet miserably._

_Peter Pettigrew ran up to the group, of course not without stumbling once on his way over. "Sirius is coming!" He squeaked._

_Tawny felt her face go white as James said, "You'd better think fast!"_

_Tawny then dove under a table that was covered with a white table cloth and had snacks, pumpkin juice and butterbeer on it._

_"That's not exactly what I had in mind!" Tawny heard James shout. She stifled a laugh. This was actually rather amusing, she had to admit!_

_Sirius walked up to the group, "Have you guys seen Tawny?"_

_"She was here just a minute ago!" Kate said, pretending not to know where she was."_

_Sirius sighed, "I really have to talk to her!" He ran his hand through his dark hair._

_"And may I ask why you HAVE to talk to my best friend?" Lily asked snootily._

_Sirius looked at Lily and said, "Because I'm in love with her."_

_Everyone stared at him for a minute then they all went "Awwww!"_

_"And I just thought you wanted her for her body! That's so sweet!" Kate gushed._

_"She's under the table!" Peter informed Sirius._

_Sirius looked at Peter then at the table._

_"TRAITOR!" Tawny snapped from beneath the table._

_Sirius looked at Peter again saying, "Thanks, mate."_

_Sirius then ducked beneath the table and said to Tawny, "Nice hiding spot, Weiland."_

_"Hi Sirius," Tawny sighed, her legs were stretched out before her as she propped her self up on her elbows._

_"So...can we talk now?" Sirius asked curiously._

_"Fine," Tawny rolled her eyes, "What do you want Sirius?"_

_"I love you," Sirius said honestly. Tawny scowled over at him._

_"You love yourself Sirius. You only think of yourself," Tawny shook her head, "You've got the world's biggest ego, your stubborn and arrogant-"_

_This was not the first time He had heard this rant so Sirius continued, mocking Tawny, " 'You spend to much time in front of the mirror, you don't care about anyone else's feelings, you're rude and obnoxious' yes, you've told me before."_

_"AND," Tawny hissed, glaring at Sirius, "a potential murderer."_

_"Tawny, shut up about that!" Sirius snarled, "That has nothing to do with us!"_

_Tawny started to crawl out from beneath the table, but Sirius caught her arm and pulled her toward him and gave her a long, passionate kiss on the lips._

_"Will you go out with me again?" Sirius whispered as he looked in to her eyes._

_Tawny replied, "No," and then smacked him across the face._

_"Ow!" Sirius hissed as he watched her leave._

_Have you forgotten all I know  
and all we had?  
you saw me mourning my love for you  
and touched my hand  
I knew you loved me then  
  
I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
you're taking over me_

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Review please!


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